Feeling Intimidated?

Feeling Intimidated? Power Up but not Over.

How to meet a challenger without becoming one…

Someone's trying to overpower you? Don't shrink. Don't fight back either. Power up. Just not over.

Meet them where they are. Don't cower. Rise to their level instead.

I have a relative. Incredible energy. Powerful. Used to getting their way.

Let's just say it. That's intimidation.

But I loved this person. Genuinely. I wanted a relationship with them.

Here's the catch — I wasn't going to play the subservient one. Not interested in that role. I wanted equal.

So we'd be talking. Discussing something. And they'd pull their move: "This conversation is making me angry."

Classic intimidation tactic. Meant to make me back off.

I learned a new line instead: "I hear you. And I stand by my position."

That's it. That's the whole move.

And what happened next? Kind of miraculous.

They backed off. Not because I out-powered them. Because I met them right where they stood. No cowering. No escalating. Just equal.

And they respected that.

Turns out, this relative is an Enneagram 8. The Challenger. Control is their safety blanket. But give in to them? They'll lose respect for you fast.

What they actually want — deep down — is an equal. Someone who won't fold. That's where the real bond forms.

Every personality clashes differently. An Enneagram 8 needs you to stand your ground. Other types need something else entirely.

Find your number first. Then learn how to work with — not against — the types that clash with yours. It changes everything.

See what can shift if you CLICK HERE to start on your Enneagram Journey.

Hi! I am Paula McCoach of Your Number Matters. As an experienced Enneagram coach & consultant, I specialize in helping others discover their Enneagram number & use their strengths to transform into their best selves. I offer both in-person & online coaching for individuals & groups.

I’ve been actively studying and working with the Enneagram for over 20 years, with a focus in the Riso-Hudson tradition. My journey has included participation in numerous Enneagram retreats, workshops, and trainings aimed at deepening both personal growth and professional application.

Since 2019, I’ve been a member of an advanced monthly Enneagram study group facilitated by certified Enneagram coaches and authors, and I am currently training with a Riso-Hudson Certified Enneagram coach and licensed therapist. I’m also a member of the International Enneagram Association (IEA), where I continue my education through ongoing trainings and community engagement.

My approach integrates psychological insight, somatic awareness, and spiritual development—bringing depth and compassion to individuals and groups seeking transformation through the lens of the Enneagram.

Outside of my Enneagram business, I am a Tutor both privately and with Wright Academics. I tutor in English Language Arts, writing, executive function, as well as in test prep for SAT, ACT and ISEE.