The Pause before the YES

The Pause before the Yes:
You Have the Answers – check your gut, head, and heart

Communication is the foundation of healthy relationships — both in business and in our personal lives. It enables us to complete work, express our thoughts and feelings, and show up for one another. But truly effective communication has to start from within. We must first learn to listen to ourselves: our gut, our head, and our heart.

For one client, that internal listening was missing entirely. She was engaging in activities and surrounding herself with people that were causing her harm. And, and she kept going back because she was checking with sources outside of herself and not what her internal sources — her gut, head, and heart — were telling her.

The honest truth was that she needed those people and those situations to feel worthy. But why was she outsourcing her sense of self-worth instead of cultivating it from within?

The Enneagram gave her the answer. Through her Enneagram work, she gained a clear understanding of what worked for her and what didn’t — in every area of her life. Through her Enneagram consultations and coaching about her type and 3 Centers of Intelligence: gut, head and heart, she began embracing the healthier expressions of her personality type — gradually releasing old patterns of people-pleasing, self-denial, and putting everyone else's needs before her own. The results have been profound: her relationships are healthier, her work is more meaningful, and her personal life is deeply satisfying.

It sounds simple, but for her it was transformative. Once she stopped listening to others to fill that gap, she was finally free to listen to her gut, head and heart and what they were telling her about healthy and unhealthy choices.

"The Pause Before the Yes"

This week, before agreeing to anything — a favor, a plan, an obligation — check in with all three of your centers:
Gut: Does this feel right in my body? Or does something feel off?
Heart: Does this align with what I truly value and care about?
Head: Does this make sense for me? Am I thinking clearly, or reacting out of fear?

All three centers need to be on board. If even one is hesitating, that's important information worth paying attention to. Write down what comes up. Don't judge it. Just notice. That moment of checking in? That's where your real personality type lives.

Next issue: We'll reveal what each Enneagram type discovers in that pause — and the one word that changes everything.

CLICK HERE to set up a consultation and find the answers you already have within yourself.

Hi! I am Paula McCoach of Your Number Matters. As an experienced Enneagram coach & consultant, I specialize in helping others discover their Enneagram number & use their strengths to transform into their best selves. I offer both in-person & online coaching for individuals & groups.

I’ve been actively studying and working with the Enneagram for over 20 years, with a focus in the Riso-Hudson tradition. My journey has included participation in numerous Enneagram retreats, workshops, and trainings aimed at deepening both personal growth and professional application.

Since 2019, I’ve been a member of an advanced monthly Enneagram study group facilitated by certified Enneagram coaches and authors, and I am currently training with a Riso-Hudson Certified Enneagram coach and licensed therapist. I’m also a member of the International Enneagram Association (IEA), where I continue my education through ongoing trainings and community engagement.

My approach integrates psychological insight, somatic awareness, and spiritual development—bringing depth and compassion to individuals and groups seeking transformation through the lens of the Enneagram.

Outside of my Enneagram business, I am a Tutor both privately and with Wright Academics. I tutor in English Language Arts, writing, executive function, as well as in test prep for SAT, ACT and ISEE.